Finding Wicked Read online

Damn him.

  Tourists walked along the pier and strolled down the beach. Nearby, a few brightly colored sailboats floated gracefully on the water, and someone was parasailing above.

  “Garrett hasn’t handled any of this the way he should have.” Avery spoke softly behind me.

  “Yeah, well, I wouldn’t know since I don’t have a damn clue what it is he’s keeping from me.”

  “He should have told you. I encouraged him to do so.”

  I spun around. “Did he just confide in you, or do you have a part in whatever this is?”

  “I don’t have a part in it, Brooke. I know you don’t know me, but I have no reason to lie or hurt you. None of this makes sense to you right now, which is understandable, but it will soon.”

  I rolled my eyes in frustration. “I need it to make sense now, need to know why he pushed me away and believes I’ll hate him. Why can’t he just talk to me? If he’s not going to be the one to make me understand, who is?”

  “He thinks he’s doing the right thing, thinks it’s what’s best for you.”

  “I don’t need him to make decisions for me. I deserve to know the truth, and it should have come from him.”

  “He’s taking this badly, Brooke. I’ve never seen him like this.”

  “That’s doubtful. He was emotionless when he told me he needed to put space between us.”

  “It’s an act. Inside, it’s killing him. He put on an icy front to make you walk away before he cracked and told you everything. He won’t. He doesn’t feel it’s his place to do that.”

  The yacht pulled into the slip and men scurried about, securing it quickly. Several minutes passed in a blur as I stepped onto the wooden planks followed by Mr. Mitchell. He waved toward a man wearing a cream suit who was walking toward us.

  “Xavier, please escort Ms. Sheridan to the airport. We’ll meet you at the hotel afterward.”

  The gentleman didn’t answer verbally, only nodded and reached for my bag.

  “Thank you again, Mr. Mitchell,” I said with a heavy heart.

  He nodded his head with an unreadable expression; like father, like son. “You’re quite welcome. Our family wishes you well. Safe travels.”

  The walk to the end of the pier sucked the life out of me. I was leaving behind something that had felt so right. Glancing over my shoulder, I drew in a gasp. On the third level of the yacht, Garrett leaned over the rail, wearing his aviators. He was too far away for me to tell if he looked like I did—as if the life had been sucked out of him.

  My steps faltered as I stopped and completely turned around to take him in. I wanted to run back to him, wanted to make him want me enough to come clean, to tell me his dirty secret and see if it was bad enough to break me.

  I lifted my hand and waved, one last gesture.

  He didn’t move, but I could tell he was staring at me; I felt it. Finally, after a few seconds, he lifted his hand and did a quick wave before disappearing through the door of the ship.

  Was that our final goodbye?

  Is that the way things are going to end?

  My heart ached for what could have been. We hadn’t had enough time.

  There was so much goodness about him that only a few people had witnessed. I’d felt his kind, soft side firsthand. He’d been warm and gentle and loving, and I longed for more of it.

  There wasn’t any use in staring at the empty space he’d just occupied.

  Our time together was over.

  The ride to the airport was short, and people scurried about as I arrived. A couple sat in the row of chairs facing me, taking selfies and laughing. I wondered if they had been on their honeymoon and were headed back to their reality, a happily ever after.

  My stomach rolled.

  I’d been a fool twice now…only this time, I wouldn’t have traded it for the world. This time I didn’t feel regret or shame. I felt empty.

  I glanced at the clock on the wall, willing the time to pass more quickly. It was still a little more than two hours before my flight. Resting my head against the wall, I closed my eyes, unable to shut out the laughter coming from the happy pair sitting across from me.

  Tears pricked at my eyelids.

  First thing in the morning, I needed to update my resume and put feelers out. I was good at marketing, and I knew George had connections. The company wouldn’t be as prestigious, but it would be safe.

  Safe…I’d be safe from having my heart fall out of my chest and onto the ground.

  I’d secure employment, move on with my life, and forget I’d ever met him.

  Even as I thought it, I knew it was a lie; nothing could ever make me forget how he’d made me feel.

  Planes taxied in. Planes taxied out.

  How was I supposed to board a plane, leave him behind, and give up on us? I should have fought harder. I shouldn’t have given up.

  My emotions were all over the map, on a crazy train. Him giving up on us baffled me. Eyes closed, I saw his beautiful eyes. Vividly, I saw his devilish smile, the way he looked at me first thing in the morning, the way he devoured me before making love to me. I even heard the way he breathed when he lay next to me, peaceful and easy.

  My hand trembled to reach over and stroke the face that wasn’t there, to feel the way his delicious skin made my hand burn, like I’d done so many times on the island. A shiver ran through me as I hallucinated the closest thing to heaven I’d ever felt. His warmth surrounded me, as if cradling me, sheltering me from the pain.

  It seemed my senses were playing a cruel, cruel joke, and I inhaled his scent as my eyes flew open.

  Garrett.

  Oh my God.

  He sat next to me, right there, right then.

  Blinking in surprise, I realized my mind hadn’t been playing tricks and I wasn’t unstable or having delusional visions.

  “What are you doing here?” I whispered.

  Silence.

  It unsettled and unnerved me as I fixed my gaze on his and spoke softly. “Garrett?”

  “I couldn’t let you go fly alone. I knew you must have been terrified.”

  “I can handle it. You made it clear there was nothing more to say.” I let my gaze slide over his face and held my head high.

  “I deserve your cold shoulder, and much more.” He let out a chuckle and slowly shook his head. “You were right, it was me who fucked us up…from the very beginning. It was supposed to be a business trip, nothing more. Then we kissed that first time after drinks at the bar, and I knew I would have you. It was undeniable—it’s still undeniable. I tried to make you walk away. I fucking tried, Brooke, but I couldn’t do it.”

  “Mr. Jekyll-slash-Hyde, you’re giving me whiplash from trying to keep up with what you want.”

  “I want you. I want to be with you, date you, get to know everything about you, because there’s no way in hell I can let you get on that plane without me. Since you left, I’ve spent every second in my own personal hell. I can’t imagine never seeing you again. I know I’ve scared you, and I know you’re having trouble trusting me. I get it, but I will do everything in my power to make all the wrongs right.”

  “Well here’s your chance. Come clean and tell me what the hell has been going on.”

  He let out a deep breath and hesitated for a long few seconds. “I’ll tell you as much as I can. The rest isn’t my story to tell.”

  An announcement came through the overhead speakers. “Flight 2397 to Dallas is now boarding at Gate D. First-class passengers please make your way to the corridor, all others stand by for instructions.”

  “Whose story is it?”

  “Your mother’s.”

  Chapter 25

  I’d clearly heard the simple two-word response, but I didn’t understand it. My head snapped up and my anxiety rose with every tick-tocking second that passed. My stomach coiled, and I prayed like hell the bile in my throat didn’t spew all over the floor.

  “Come on, I’ll tell you more once we’re boarded.” Garrett took my hand in his and s
tood, dragging me with him.

  My mother.

  I was more confused than ever.

  What was my mother’s involvement?

  As soon as we found our spacious seats at the front of the cabin, I slid in next to the window and Garrett took his place in the seat next to me. I absorbed the burn of his intense gaze into every single pore of my skin while the cabin crew went through the normal hustle and bustle, making everyone comfortable.

  It felt like it took forever before we were cleared for takeoff, and once the aircraft started toward the tarmac, I met Garrett’s eyes. The engines revved, and we began darting down the runway before lifting off the ground.

  “Does flying again make you nervous?”

  “Terrified, but I’m more terrified of you.”

  Turbulence was the farthest thing from my mind.

  His gaze locked onto mine, filled with fear. For the first time since meeting Garrett, I saw fear in him.

  I’d held back as long as possible.

  “I’m listening.”

  “It’s a long story.”

  “Good thing we have nothing but time and nowhere to go for seven hours.” I glared, waiting for answers.

  “After our first meeting with Jennings, I was so pissed that I wanted to fire you on the spot. I had your personnel file on my desk and flipped it open with every intention of sending Cordelia an email to terminate you, effective immediately. No one has ever dared to put me in my place like that and kept their job.”

  I remembered that day vividly. Looking back, I knew his sarcastic remarks about my boring panties had rubbed me the wrong way because I was attracted to him and didn’t want to admit it.

  “Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard Suncoast Jet Airlines. At this time, you’re free to walk about the cabin. The weather is perfect for flying, and we should land in Dallas on time at approximately seven fifteen.”

  Jesus. No more interruptions!

  “Go on.”

  “I tried to do the right thing, tried to let you walk away. You weren’t supposed to find out, and it’s not my place to tell you.”

  “Just spit it out, dammit.” I pivoted toward him and softened my tone. “Just tell me.”

  The strange look in his eyes made me question if I wanted to hear his confession. I saw the torment suffocating the warmth I yearned to see swimming in his gaze. My heart thudded in my ears like a bass drum, and I reached over, clutching his hand.

  “More than anything, I want to know what’s going on, what you’re keeping from me, but I’m also torn, Garrett. You were so different when we were on the island than when we were in the office. I can handle the man who walks around like thunder, like he’s more powerful than the electricity in lightning, but I can’t handle this…can’t handle what it’s doing to you.”

  “I’m not ready to lose you.” He dropped his head. “Regardless of how you find out, I’m fucked.”

  “I don’t know how it’s going to end for us, but what I know more than anything is that in order for us to have a chance, I need honesty.”

  “First, your resume with your full name in bold type caught my attention: Brooke Indigo Sheridan. I must have stared at your middle name for the rest of the afternoon. I didn’t know how I knew, but I just knew.”

  An attendant stopped next to our row. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

  “Jack and Coke, please,” I said coolly, biting back the agitation brewing within me.

  Ice clinked against the glass as she filled my order. “Sir, may I get you something?”

  “Water,” he said politely.

  She beamed with eyes that looked drunk on his perfection, and a part of me wanted to tell her he was already taken…but I wasn’t sure of that anymore. Pain twisted in my chest.

  When she moved along, I took a long sip of the strong drink, looking at him over the rim.

  “Go on.”

  “Jennings Lockwood once played in a band called Indigo Whiskey. An old sign still hangs in his office, and as soon as I saw your full name in the file, I fucking knew. Jennings is your father.”

  I gulped. Speechless, I brought the glass back to my lips, downing the drink in one gulp.

  “You think Jennings is my father because he played in a band with indigo in the name?”

  “Do you remember Jennings asking if you’d ever lived in Austin? That’s where he met your mother.”

  “My mother never lived in Austin.”

  “She went to college there.”

  For the first time in my life, I doubted the only honest person in my life—my mom.

  “You have his eyes and the same smirk when you’re pissed off.”

  “This is what has had you acting like a lunatic? Garrett, my mother would never lie to me,” I said, though deep down I was trying to convince myself it was the truth.

  “I went to see Rachel before we left.”

  “You went to see my mom?”

  “Yes. She wasn’t forthcoming at first, but then I told her I would fire you for insubordination if she didn’t answer my questions. Funny how a little blackmail can make the weak talk.”

  This can’t be true…it can’t be.

  But it was—I could see the seriousness in his face.

  “She was sick, for God’s sake. None of this was or is any of your business.”

  “Jennings is like a second father to me, and I stop at nothing to get the answers I want. For God’s sake, he didn’t even know he had a daughter. I’ve never let anything or anyone stand in my way, especially for people I care about.”

  “Is he…my father?”

  “Yes,” he whispered.

  “Did my mother confirm this?”

  Please say no. My entire life my mother had claimed my father had left town and later overdosed.

  “Yes.”

  All along, my father was right there under my nose in the bright lights of Dallas.

  “Did he know about me?”

  “No. He never even knew she was pregnant.”

  “Does he know about me now?”

  “Yes.”

  I gave him a blank stare, in complete shock.

  Nothing had prepared me for this.

  Nothing.

  Part of my life had been stolen by my own mother. She’d known how to give me the one thing I’d wanted my entire life. She’d let me watch other kids at birthday parties with their dads, had let every Father’s Day roll around without me having anyone to make a card for. She’d robbed me of something I’d desperately longed to have.

  “How did he take it? Finding out about me?”

  “Shocked would be an understatement. He remembered your mother. He said she used to come to a hole-in-the-wall bar his band played at along with a lot of other girls. He started noticing her flirty eyes, and after a couple of shows, they started getting together when the bar closed. She admitted to me that she was a rich girl away at school having one hell of a good time with the boy from the other side of the tracks. It was a game to her…until she got pregnant. Indigo Whiskey started playing gigs all over, and Jennings jumped when they had a chance to start touring. They were heading to Nashville when the lead singer overdosed on prescription drugs with a bottle of whiskey. The band fell apart after that, and Jennings came home and went to college.”

  “We were in the same city and I never knew.” I sounded vulnerable…because I was.

  “Before we left, I went to see Jennings and told him everything. He called while we were in St. Thomas, wanting to know when we would be returning.

  Jennings Lockwood.

  My father.

  I turned my head toward the small window, watching the fluffy white clouds float in the blue sky. Garrett’s fingers tightened around mine in a tender hold as I pressed my forehead to the glass.

  A thousand what-ifs rolled through my mind, and he sat in silence, letting me adapt to the hard truth I’d just learned. He caressed the side of my hand with the pad of his thumb, and I could feel the tension still lingering.
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br />   Slowly, after what must have been more than thirty minutes, I turned back toward him with dread.

  “There’s more,” he said softly.

  This was the part where I was going to hate him; I saw it in his eyes.

  I remembered how warm, kind, and gentle he could be.

  I remembered how happy he’d made me on the shores of our private harbor.

  He’d made me strong and fearless.

  He’d made me realize how much I craved love.

  He’d made me love again.

  “Did you mean everything you said? Do you want me, to be with me and only me?”

  “Yes,” he replied, his voice husky.

  “I want that too, and if what you have to tell me is going to end us, then don’t tell me. I don’t want to be less than happy when you make me happier than I’ve ever been in my life.”

  “I want it to be that simple. Truth, honesty, integrity, and trust are so important to me. If any of those things are lacking then it’s a failed relationship, even if it’s in the past. I have to make this right, and hope I can win all of those things back.”

  His gaze was filled with guilt, consuming him, eating at him.

  My heart clenched and I grit my teeth. The ugly truth was coming.

  Before he said another word, I instinctively reached over and cupped the sides of his face.

  “Kiss me. Before you say one more fucking word, kiss me.”

  Regardless of what he told me, I needed to feel his mouth against mine. I was terrified by the sadness crinkling the corners of his eyes, worried this was going to be our last happy moment.

  His lips found mine, and he was so damned gentle and careful, as if I were a china doll about to be shattered into tiny fragments. He traced his lips along the seam of mine and I opened, inviting him in. He plunged his tongue inside and I circled my arm around his neck, holding him captive against me.

  When he drew back, he held the sides of my face between his palms, not letting me move. Garrett’s beautiful face morphed into sadness, and I wanted to forget there was something errant lingering between us. But, undoubtedly, he was about to crush my heart and soul.

  He swallowed hard and pushed himself away, pressing his back flat against the leather seat. Looking straight ahead, he squeezed his eyes closed, and I felt sick.