Finding Wicked Read online

  “I wanted to be here, Mama. I needed to be here for me just as much as for you.”

  “Until something goes wrong and you watch them take me off life support, you don’t get to say it’s for you. I’ve read where some family members try to revoke advanced directives. It’s hard letting go of people you love, Brookie—I know that. Growing up, I resented my mother, but I loved her. Letting her go was the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life.”

  “You sold me to Garrett Mitchell. He never told me any of this while we were on the island. He had so much charisma and played the game well.”

  “He’s a good man.”

  “Really? A good man? He’s a liar. He’s out for himself. Does it not bother you that he used me? That he paid a lot of money for me? I was bought!”

  “Is that what you think? That man was furious when he came to me about Jennings being your father, but it was about you, not Jennings. He said—and I quote— ‘This is going to tear her apart, and she deserves nothing but happiness in her life.’ A man doesn’t say something like that unless they are good. I knew I’d made the right decision to send you off with him. I knew because it was your chance to be happy again.”

  I held my breath in silent shock.

  “I don’t believe this. I never wanted to—”

  “Fall in love? I knew there was a chance of that, because a blind person would sense the chemistry between you two.”

  “He deeded the land back to you.”

  “I know. He came to see me yesterday.”

  Before or after he came to my house?

  “What time?”

  “Around seven.”

  Before.

  “What did he say?”

  Another smile played on her lips. “Why does it matter?”

  “I want to know, that’s why.”

  “He said he had other business to attend to that was more important than that piece of land. He made me promise not to sell it to anyone else because of its value, and if I did, to reach out to him first. Pretty easy request, so I said yes.”

  “Thank God you haven’t spent the money he gave you.”

  “That’s the thing—I did spend some of it by paying off the second mortgage on the house because I didn’t want you to be burdened with my bills. Anyway, he refuses to accept any of it back. I told him I plan to pay him monthly installments until my debt is clear, but he’s adamant he won’t accept a penny of it.”

  We talked a couple more hours and ate lunch before I left. It felt as though a ton of bricks had been lifted from my chest. We were far from okay, but we were closer to normal than we had been the day before.

  My phone chimed, and I held my breath before looking at the screen. I wasn’t ready for Garrett.

  Jennings: Reservations made at Aurora’s for tomorrow night. Would love to pick you up at 5:30.

  I smiled. Aurora’s was a really nice black-tie restaurant I’d never been to, but I’d longed to splurge on it because I’d heard the famous chicken marsala and signature chicken piccata with savory artichokes were delicious.

  Me: Sounds nice. I’ll be ready.

  Next, I had one more stone to turn over. I tapped on Greta’s name.

  Me: Hey you. I’m guessing you’ve figured out by now I’m not coming back. It’s a long story, but I will fill you in soon. Thinking we could go to Lola’s.

  Greta: Garrett said you’re coming in the morning.

  Me: He’s full of shit.

  Greta: No really, he had me replenish your snacks, among other things.

  Me: Definitely not coming back. I need a favor—can you meet me on the first floor at the main entrance with my small box of things tomorrow afternoon at 2?

  Greta: Not if you’re not coming back. ;)

  Me: I’ll just get my things some other time. Let me know when you want to catch up at Lola’s. Would love some of your crazy company.

  Greta: The bear is getting off the elevator. Should I tell him you’re not coming tomorrow?

  Me: No. He’ll figure it out. XOXO

  Chapter 29

  I rushed past the row of treadmills, rowing devices, bicycles, and stair climbers with my bag hanging off my shoulder, ready to start my day.

  Paul met me wearing a grin with a towel hanging around his neck and a bottle of water in his hand. His skin glistened, likely from a recently completed workout, as he wiped his forehead with the corner of the white cloth.

  “Van twisted her ankle late last night. Looks like you drew the short straw because by the time we’re finished, your muscles are going to be screaming to stop—but don’t worry, soon you’ll be addicted to the burn.”

  “Maybe I should wait on Vanessa. I have a dinner date tonight and want to be able to enjoy myself.”

  He chuckled. “I promise not to hurt you, but I will push you and test your limits. After you stow your things in a locker, we’ll go over the fitness plan I’ve mapped out for you. Today’s focus is upper body, and our next appointment—if you don’t chicken out, that is—will be lower body, then we’ll get to abs and glutes.”

  Paul wasn’t kidding—the session was intense. Lastly, before the cool-down, he introduced me to the machine I’d seen him assisting the elderly lady with the previous day. Standing behind me, he helped me keep proper alignment as I pulled a weighted bar from over my head toward the floor. I felt the burn in my triceps and reached up to pull it down again.

  “Four more repetitions.” He placed one hand on my stomach, the other on my back, guiding my form. “Good job.”

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Garrett said in a lethally dominant voice.

  I stopped, bringing down the weights, and let go at the same time Paul moved his hands off of my body.

  There he stood, drop-dead fucking gorgeous, dressed in a black suit that looked like it had been tailored to a perfect fit just for him. Storms swirled in his eyes, and his lips were pressed into a thin tight line.

  He was pissed, and that pissed me off, because he’d lost the right to be pissed before we ever went on that damned business trip.

  But, holy hell, if he wasn’t easy on the eyes, making it so easy to forget everything else. I missed him, missed how he’d made me feel once upon a time, and I longed for him to make me feel that way again.

  No. No. No.

  “Do you know this guy?” Paul stood rigid and firm, stepping in front of me.

  “Unfortunately, yes.” My heart pounded in my chest. “Garrett, if you don’t mind, I’m in the middle of a training session. Keep going Paul—he was just leaving.”

  “I’m not going any-fucking-where.” He scanned my face, trailing down to the mint green sports bra and grey yoga pants with matching mint stripe down the side.

  “Excuse me just a moment. This won’t take but a minute.” I released the handlebar and strode toward Garrett with a strong urge to slap him across his very tense face. “Outside, now!”

  I grabbed the sleeve of his suit and pulled him toward the exit. He followed without hesitation and didn’t put up a hint of a struggle.

  Once we were safely outdoors, I spun around. “Why can’t you get it through your thick skull that you and I are done? I don’t want anything to do with you.”

  “Because I don’t believe you!” He raked his hand through his hair as his eyes darkened in torment. “I’ve never in my life felt more whole and complete than the times we were together, like I wasn’t missing anything anymore, and I know you felt the same way. I know because it radiated and poured into every cell of my body, fusing us as one. That may sound corny as hell to you, but it’s the only way I know how to describe it. It may sound crazy, and maybe it is, but it’s okay because I am crazy—I’m crazy for you.”

  I swallowed hard, and it was as if he’d kicked me in the stomach, pushing all the air from my lungs. His words sank in, but how could I believe him? How could I ever trust him again?

  “The things you did…I mean, my God, you made a deal with my mother. It’s like she sold me, and you were
the highest bidder. The thought of you taking me away, knowing she might not pull through her surgery—it makes me want to vomit. I know she didn’t want me there, but neither of you had the right to make that decision, to do that shit behind my back.”

  “I signed the land back to her,” he muttered, his voice so low I barely heard him over the cars passing by.

  I rolled my eyes. “That doesn’t suddenly make it all right. It doesn’t clean the slate.”

  “It was the worst decision I’ve ever made in my life, but you? You were the best thing decision I’ve ever made. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, Brooke.”

  That was my breaking point. He was by far the most exceptional, extraordinary gift in my life. He’d taught me to love again then, in a snap, had bled me dry with the one thing he knew could—a lie.

  “Garrett, please. I just can’t.” A tear trailed down my cheek.

  God, I wanted to.

  I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and tell me it was all going to be okay.

  I wanted him to love me, and I wanted to give him love in return.

  He pushed a loose tendril of hair behind my ear, pressed a palm to my cheek, and sighed. Defeat was written all over him as his face twisted into bleakness.

  “I hope you’ll one day see the real me…what could have been. I’ll stop harassing you, Brooke. I’m sorry for making things harder for you. Take care of yourself.”

  He walked away, and I couldn’t take my eyes off him. Before disappearing into his sleek black sports car, he turned his head in my direction. We must have stared at each other for a full minute before he lifted his hand and blew me a kiss.

  Then he was gone.

  I watched until his tail lights disappeared in the mix of cars, and then I crumbled.

  With shaking hands, I sought the parking meter to keep me from falling to my knees. My heart ached, throbbing as if it had been stabbed over and over again. Tears streamed down my cheeks, one after the other.

  Why are you crying? This is what you wanted…isn’t it?

  It felt all wrong. Instead of feeling relieved that he’d finally agreed to leave me alone, desperation engulfed me.

  It was the right thing to do. It had to be.

  How could I ever trust him again?

  Despite everything, a part of me wanted to run to him, to tell him I forgave him, to tell him I loved him.

  It wasn’t enough. Love is not enough—not without trust.

  “Are you all right?” I hadn’t heard Paul approach. “Do you want me to call the police?”

  “I’m good. He won’t be back,” I choked out.

  Oh God, he really won’t be back.

  “Are you safe at home?”

  “Yes, I’m safe. Garrett would never hurt me.”

  I knew that to be true. He would never lay a hand on me, except in pleasuring me.

  “My next client is due in a few minutes.”

  “Sure. Listen, this won’t happen again. I’ll see you or Vanessa at my next session.”

  Foregoing a shower, I decided to wait until I got home and headed off to see my mom. My visit was going be short and sweet since I had a date with Jennings—AKA Dad—and needed to apply to a few job listings I’d found that looked promising.

  When I walked into Mom’s room, faking happiness, she sat in a recliner by the window, reading the newspaper. Her face lit up, and she didn’t even try to hide the mischievous smile spelling trouble in capital letters.

  “How was your morning at the gym?” She was fishing for information about something I already knew she was well aware of. She was the only one who’d known I was at the gym, and she had told Garrett where to find me. I could play her game, and I would play it better. My heart hurt, but she wasn’t going to know that.

  “It was amazing. When the doctor makes his rounds, I think we should ask if you can join a gym when they cut you loose.”

  “Hmm, I don’t think so. I’d rather walk in the park. Anything else exciting happen this morning?”

  I raised my eyebrows in a forced expression of excitement. “Yep!”

  “Well, what was it?”

  “Two job openings popped up this morning. They’re both with prestigious companies and have a lot to offer!”

  She frowned. “You’re not going to keep working for Mitchell Enterprises?”

  “Uh, no. I could never do that.”

  “Why not?”

  My expression must have looked like she’d grown three heads, because that was what I felt like while looking at her. “How can you ask why? I just can’t, not after what all we’ve…”

  “After falling in love—go ahead and say it out loud,” my mom said matter-of-factly.

  “That wasn’t what I was going to say.”

  “It’s true. You can deny it all you want, but I can tell. I could tell when I spoke to you that afternoon on the phone.”

  I stilled, and my words seemed to be trapped somewhere deep inside. I moved to the window and gazed out at the busy city street.

  “It doesn’t matter. He used me, Mom. He used me for a piece of land and had every intention of making millions off the deal. That’s irreparable.”

  “Look at me,” she said sternly, and I did as any respectful daughter would do, turning my attention to her. “Look at my life, Brooke. I’m a stubborn woman who thought she knew everything about making decisions regarding relationships. It led me to a lonely life. After two failed marriages, I let the only man who ever loved me give up. He finally started over after I wouldn’t give us a chance. I made a huge mistake. I don’t want that for you.”

  “I don’t remember you ever dating anyone after the divorce.”

  “Oh, I snuck around for a while. I refused to bring another man into your life, and I didn’t really believe in true love. I didn’t allow myself to believe someone could really love me until it was too late. Don’t make the same mistakes I did.”

  “It would never work.”

  “I did the scheming, and Garrett took the bait before he’d acknowledged his own feelings. Since coming home, you’ve bent over backward to be at my side. How can you forgive me but not him?”

  I grimaced. “I don’t know.”

  “Figure it out, and don’t wait too long. You deserve this, Brookie. You deserve love.”

  I felt like her words were suffocating me, as if she were holding a pillow over my face. “Mom, I have to go. I have a lot to do this afternoon.”

  “Think about what I said. He’s a good man. Don’t let him slip through your fingers—he’ll eventually give up on you.”

  Instead of answering, I stayed silent and walked from the room.

  He’d already given up on me; I’d made sure of that when I made the demands and denied my feelings.

  Later that evening, Jennings and I sat at a table in the warm and inviting dining room at Aurora’s. The fine atmosphere oozed elegance and decadence with an old-world charm. The wait staff dressed in black-tie combined with the impeccable service made my first nice meal since returning to Dallas rather memorable.

  “I’m so glad to finally sit down together and have the chance to get to know one another.” Jennings beamed with an expression that screamed confidence.

  “Me too.” I grinned and placed my hand on the table, palm up. “This place is amazing.”

  He reached across and covered my hand with his. “I think you are pretty amazing yourself. I know this last week has been a shocker and pretty tough for you.”

  I covered his hand with my other. “It has, but it hasn’t been all bad—I found out I have a father.”

  It was the start of a new relationship with a man who I could envision myself one day calling Dad. We didn’t talk about Garrett or my mother that evening. It was just him and me…and time.

  Chapter 30

  Two weeks later, I became gainfully employed again as a marketing planner with a famous retailer whose main office was in Paris, France. Mom had a couple more weeks until her three-week r
ehabilitation was complete, and life was getting back to normal.

  Ha!

  It was only normal because I’d been playing my part like an Academy Award-winning actress.

  I walked around with a smile on my face, and sometimes it was real, but more often than not it was as fake as the boobs on the gum-smacking girl at my favorite coffee shop.

  My new boss wasn’t George, and he wasn’t as hot as Garrett Mitchell, but I had to hand it to him—he was nice.

  My third day on the job, I sat behind a glass desk with my first solo assignment, and a soft knock sounded on the door.

  One dozen white tulips in an extra-tall vase filled with an assortment of white seashells were brought in by a delivery girl who wore a big smile as she sashayed across the carpeted floor.

  “Ms. Sheridan?”

  “That would be me,” I said, mortified.

  She set the arrangement on the corner of my desk. “This is one of the prettiest arrangements I’ve ever delivered, and I’ve been doing this going on six years.”

  I swallowed hard, the card staring at me. “They are beautiful.”

  “Have a great day.” She almost skipped away, and my heart skipped in my chest.

  Reaching for the small envelope, I trembled as I opened it up.

  There’s not a minute in the day that I don’t think of you. –G

  My mother’s advice repeated over and over in my mind.

  “Don’t let him slip through your fingers—he’ll eventually give up on you.”

  I was a complete mess.

  I resisted the urge to call him.

  What would I say?

  I got your flowers. Love them.

  A little voice put out the fire of weakness, reminding me how easy it had been for him to use me and how easily it could happen again.

  Garrett was a man who could hurt me to the point of no return. He was a constant presence in my thoughts, the smallest things triggering my wandering mind to go to him.